A wish upon a star

Tired from the long hours of staring at my laptop, trying to break the levels of candy crush, I look out of the window at the dark sky and wonder how long has it been since the last time I gazed in awe at the clear night sky full of bright, shining stars.

In my vast childhood memories, I remember myself walking along the beach with people I don't really know. The were no electricity around us and when I held my head up and looked at the sky, that was the only time in my life I've ever felt this amazed. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of stars.

When I was young, I used to wish upon the stars before I went to bed whenever I had problems. Today, as I looked at the sky, there isn't a single star to be seen. It's not like I'm still doing this wishing-upon-a-star thing but if I've a chance to make a wish, there's one I would wished for. 

I wish I was never a selfish coward.

There were so many things in life that could have taken a better turn if I was brave enough to face my difficulties and mistakes. If only I could see the opportunities and not care a single thing about what others might think. There were times when I stayed awake through the wee hours of the morning, wondering of the possibilities if I had done the opposite. Would I be happier so?

But then, I was a coward. I never tried to step out of my comfort zone.

Whatever it were, they were in the past. I believe it is fate that has brought me to where I am today as I could not walk two different paths at the same time.

Tonight, I wish I'll be brave enough to take the first step before it's too late again.

Please let me watch 49 days!!! LOL!

I'm all alone in the library right now. Just as I thought I can finally make use of the university's speedy line to download my next to-watch korean drama(49 days) while doing my homework, YouTube removed the video.

*SOB!!!*

YouTube! Why you remove it!
*sigh*

Now I have to wait for some kind people to upload all the episodes. I hope there will be other people uploading it. Please~please~please~

*fingers crossed*

 I don't want to stuck at episode 7 forever. T^T

My favourite quotes

Out of the 12 awesome quotes in the picture above, I have my favourite 3. They're:

1. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
2. Happiness depends upon ourselves.
3. Love yourself.

Be grateful for everything that happened

Time and tide waits for no one. In a wink of an eye, 19 years passed and today, I'm 20.

It's really hard for me to believe that I'm 20 already. Well, not exactly 20 yet. Just 19+ as my birthday is still far away. Hehehe~ Until today, I still live thinking that I'm 18. I'm forever 18. LOL!

It's 2012! I couldn't wait to know what surprises 2012 has for me this year. Excitement? Disappointment? Happiness? Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll be grateful. Just like how I'm with 2011.

2011 is the year I regret for the decision I've made. 2011 is also the year I realise life is not just about making the right decision and be happy. Life is about enjoying and be grateful for everything that happened. I'm thankful for all the ups and downs in life that made me who I am today. I'm proud of myself.

Thank you 2011!

2011: It took me a year

It took me a year.
It took me a year to understand that I'm just nothing.
It took me a year to realise I'm just a bystander.
It took me a year to escape from this psychological struggle.
It took me a year to shook of the unhappiness in me.
It took me a year for me to recover myself.
And the year is 2011.

I spent a year asking myself:
"Why?"
"Why me?"
"What wrong had I done?"

But now, I'm thankful that it happened. I'm glad because it all happened for a reason.
There is always a reason behind everything that happened in my life.
At least that's what I believe.

Within a year, I left many people and met many people. Whoever they are, I've never once regret meeting them.

2011 will be ending in a few more days. like 2010, it is also a year that has left an impact on me. All that had happened made me realise life is not just life but the twists and turns. Because of them, my life is colorful.

Thank you 2011 and goodbye.
=D

Short and inspiring video

Have you heard of Nick Vujicic, the guy with no arms and legs? Yeah....he's born without any limbs.

Watch this video and get inspired.

Whenever I feel down, I watch and get inspired. And each and every time I watch, I cried.
I cried because I know I have no right to be sad and fret over my 'problems'. They're nothing compared to his.
I cried because I admire his courage to face his problems, get over them and conquer them.

He'll forever be an inspiring character in my heart and also someone I admire.
Yeah, I admire courageous people.

Of course if you watched any other of his video or the video above, you'll find many inspiring quotes.

I have my favourite one here.

Be optimistic!

I broke my bottle handle.
Lost my phone.
Lost my file.

*sigh*

From the pessimistic point of view, it's called unfortunate.

But when viewed optimistically, it's called fortunate.

It's just a bottle handle. At least I can still drink water from the bottle.
Lost my phone? That means it's time for me to change my phone.
Just a file with some not-really-important notes. I'll just use another file since I have so many more.

When you feel down, try to look at your problems from a different perspective of view. Life isn't that difficult when you view it optimistically.

Just remember......

The most difficult person to please is yourself.

The easiest person to please is also yourself.

So just chill and relax. Don't be too harsh on yourself as sometimes it brings no good at all.

BE OPTIMISTIC!

Forget-me-not

You like me, you like me not.......
You love me, you love me not.......
You hate me, you hate me not.......
You forget me, please, forget me not.

Forget me not. A very queer name for a flower. I wonder who named it at the first place. Who named it, you ask? Wikipedia is the solution and the answer is God.

According to German legend, god named all the plants and flowers except for a tiny unnamed one who cried out: "Forget-me-not, O Lord!". Upon hearing, God replied: "That shall be you name." Hence, the name forget-me-not is given.

Like its name, it's a flower that represents true, faithful love. It can be romantic for some people but secretive to me. Blue with a hint of purple, definitely a secretive colour to me.

Don't you love this forget-me-not colour? Because I do and I couldn't forget about it.
(I don't know what is the name of this colour so I just name it the forget-me-not colour.)

Chasing dreams

Quote of the day:

"A dream is not just a dream if only we have the courage and determination to make it happen.

You are the owner of your dream and it's up to you to make it happen."

Do you have any dreams?
I am not talking about the dream you have when you're asleep but the dreams of your life.

Everybody has a dream.

What is yours?
How do you define it?

To me, dreams are often the opposite of reality. In fact a dream is an ideal illusion we create in our mind.

A dream is a simple thing that everyone have, can have and should have. I believe it's healthy to have dreams as it serves as a guidance in life. Dream is something you want to achieve in life, a goal, a compass of you life. A person without a dream is like a boat sailing aimlessly in the middle of the deep wide ocean, not knowing where to head. Without dream, life is meaningless and one cannot go far. When there is dream, there is hope and future.

Different people have different dreams. Some want it big, to work in a big company, have a luxurious life; while others want it simple, to live a peaceful and blissful life.

I used to be (still am) that poor aimless boat floating in the middle of the ocean. That's why I chose A-levels, not because I'm smart but to lengthen the time span of another one and a half year for me to determine what I want to study in the future. So, one and a half year passed and I still couldn't decide.

In the end, I accepted my dad's proposal to study foundation in management which I'll then proceed to take degree in accounting next year. The reason my dad gave was accounting jobs are always highly in demand and there is a tiny chance that accountants will face a job crisis. So I accept dad's proposal thinking maybe it's the best for me?

Until today, I still doubt myself in making the right decision. Many questions flooded my mind. What if I find out accounting isn't the thing I want to study? What if I regret on my decision only years later? Will it be too late? All these I-don't-know-what-to-do feelings are suffocating at times.

Despite all those doubts, I have a dream........and my dream is to be the daring heroine in my heart that is brave enough to overcome all obstacles and be the owner of my dreams. (If that makes any sense to you)

Here's an interesting short story I stumbled upon in Wikipedia.

Life is a Dream

The King of Poland has kept his son Segismundo secretly imprisoned since birth because an oracle prophesied that the prince would bring disaster to the country. Telling his subjects that the boy died soon after childbirth, he manages to keep his son hidden until he has grown to be a man. When Segismundo reaches maturity, the King wishes to reveal his son at last, restoring the Prince as rightful heir to the throne. The King brings Segismundo to court and tells him about his Princely heritage. This discovery makes him violent, however, and he rages, killing a servant, attempting to rape a woman, and injuring the King's advisor.

Horrified and certain of the truthfulness of the prophecy, the King has Segismundo drugged and returned to his tower prison. Upon waking he mourns, believing the previous day's events had been nothing more than a dream.

Though he remains oblivious in his cell, the people have discovered Segismundo's plight and break him out of prison. Though Segismundo rejoices, he cannot be sure whether this new development is, in fact, reality or still just a dream.

The rebels persist, though, and Segismundo raises an army of the people. Together they defeat the king, but Segismundo cannot take his father's life. Moved at this gesture, the King proclaims Segismundo heir to his throne. As ruler, he resolves to live by the motto that "God is God," acknowledging that one must strive for goodness whether he is asleep or awake.

Are we just pretending?

Here's another of my favourite Glee song. Good song with good lyrics.

Seriously, many of the songs sung by Glee are awesome.

Before watching Glee, I used to think that Glee is just another High School Musical but I was wrong. Yeah, both Glee and High School Musical did musicals but Glee is better. Way better.

Here's the song with lyrics included. Enjoy~

The lyrics (literally every line) has been lingering in my mind for some time, especially this line.

"......Or will we forever only be pretending?"

Pretenders. Are we?

Believe what you believe

" Even if the whole world tells me it's not, I'll still continue to believe what I strongly believe in."

This phrase suddenly came across my mind in this still silent night when I was about to fall asleep. For once, it make sense.


It gives me the courage to continue what I'm doing everytime I feel like giving up. If they say no, I'll try to prove and make them say yes.


I'll continue to believe until the day I see the truth. Who are we to decide whether something is right or wrong, possible or impossible. You'll never know until you've tried. All I need is a little more courage to continue.


I'll still hold on to the end.

Pictures of the day

My blog seems kinda dull with just words and no pictures so I decided to hunt and post some pictures that can express what I feel today.

(Actually I'm just doing this out of boredom.)

Hahaha! It seems like I'm emo-ing but don't worry, I'm not emo at all. Just bored from studying accounting.(Actually I haven't even start studying....LOL)

Accounting exam tomorrow and I'm still here blogging about nonsense. Hehe~ It's time to study already!!! @@ *yawn*

What if?

In the late night, lying on my bed sleeplessly, I used to think about a lot of what if(s).

What if I was born in a poor family? Will I still lead a life like what I'm living now? What kind of people will I meet? Will I still get to know all the friends that I've met in present? I would've probably be at some hawker stall helping my parents to sell food.

I used to think that if Im born with a pretty face, a beautiful voice and intelligent, I'm gonna make people go in awe and jealous of me. Maybe because of that, I may become a bitch or a superstar. LOL

If I'm a genius, I wouldn't have to worry about my studies or future. I would be in somewhere else in this world....in America or United Kingdom. Maybe I'd be studying in Harvard University and get head hunted by some high ranking company.

But if I wasn't that lucky to be born with complete hands and legs, I don't know what I'll become. I couldn't imagine myself handicapped. That's very sad.

If I'm born deaf, it'll still be okay for me as long as I can see, walk and talk. The sad part is that I'll never get to enjoy music.

But if I'm born blind, that will be the worst for me. All I could see is darkness. I wouldn't have had the joy to enjoy the sight of nature, to know how the people I met look like. All I could do is rely on a stick and senses whenever I go.

There are so many what if(s). If I'd refused to leave and sticked to Sunway College, I would've graduated from A-levels and doing part-time job while waiting for some university offer. If I'd chosen other university instead of MMU. If I'd chosen to study something else instead of foundation in management, I wouldn't have met those people in MMU. What if I didn't woke up from my sleep?(Choi! Choi! Choi! Touch wood! Hahaha!)

What if....what if. *sigh*

Actually I did wonder what I've dreamt while I was unconscious. I knew very well that I had a dream. I'm certain of it but I just could remember. A very long dream indeed. How I wish I can remember that dream. I wonder what did I dreamed? Hahaha! I'll never know.

时间

时间久了，你的心也淡了。

我只能默默地看着，像个傻瓜一样等待啊。。。等待着。

但在心里非常的清楚。

一切都是我的错。

或许是我太慢了。

时间久了，我的心。。。也冷了。

从那刻起，我才开始明白。

时间是不能倒流的。

一个人的心一旦变了，永远都无法回到最初的那一刻。

因为你的心，就像我的心一样。

没有目标。

Graduation,memories....and disappointment

Today, when I've finally get to online, my Facebook homepage was loaded with lots of Sunway A-level graduation photos. Pretty ladies, beautiful dresses, handsome guys and hey! Where am I?!

I was suppose to be there, to graduate, to be with them, having fun together but I'm not. I wasn't meant to be there anymore.

I was invited to the graduation party but I cruelly rejected it because I know nothing there is left for me. I don't belong there anymore. Why would I even care to dress up nicely and attend? It wasn't even my graduation party. It's theirs. Not mine. This makes me feel a little sad.

Oh well, memories are memories, always and forever. Thanks for the memories, S2. Nonetheless, it's fun to be with you guys. :)

Something in my heart

I like the song Enchanted by Taylor Swift. She was singing exactly what I'm feeling in my heart right now.

Especially the phrase:'' Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you." This is exactly what I'm wishing for but deep in my heart, I know this will never be true.

Enchanted by Taylor Swift

There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old, tired place lonely place
Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?" across the room, your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up, 2 a.m., who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say

It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that

This was the very first page, not where the storyline ends
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Orientation countdown

Counting down the days......3 days more!

3 more days to MMU orientation. I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad.

Happy because I can't finally start studying after so many months.

Sad because there'll be no more long holidays.

I wonder if I can skip the orientation if I find it boring. :)

Does korean idols study?

If you're not a k-pop fan, you've probably heard of SNSD or Girl's Generation. It's a group that has nine members and blah~ blah~ blah~~~

It was until now that I'm aware about their age. Their age gap was between 20 to 22. That means all of them should be still studying in university.

With their popularity and hectic schedule, I wonder how are they suppose to study?

My guess is they must be constantly skipping classes. With all the busy schedule, I believe their grades are .. erm... just average? Or even worst? These girls can't even get to enjoy their university life!

Sorry...I'm just using SNSD as an example since they're very popular right now.

By the way, they're currently promoting their new album.

You can view it here.

Anxiety

Lying on the bed until the clock strikes 12 midnight. I was unable to sleep last night.

Its been 5 months since the last day I left my friends and studies in Sunway University for good. I didn't get to complete the A-level course that I've studied for 9 months. I wonder what people would think of me. To them I'll always be the girl who dropped A-levels just before AS exam. I could be easily taken for the girl-who-couldn't-cope-with-stress or girl-loves-to-waste-parents-money. Hmmm......yeah, whatever it is. The past is not what I'm concern about anymore but the future that lays ahead of me.

I've finally decided to study at a university in my hometown. I took foundation in management which will later on lead me to an accounting career.

I've ponder long and hard enough, wondering if I've made the right choice. Accounting is something I've no idea about. Some people told me:" it's a piece of cake." " It's nothing compared to studying to become a doctor or a pharmacist." But what if I don't like what I was studying? What if?! I don't want to regret for the rest of my life, would you?

To infinity and beyond!

I watched Toy Story 3 a few days ago with my friends. It is very funny but the ending is sad. I admit I cried at the end when Andy introduced all his toys one by one to Bonnie before he left, parting with his childhood toys and never look back again. Andy will never know how much his toys love him, especially Woody.

This is life. Reality will eventually force us to part with many things we cherish in life no matter how much we treasure them. We are to accept it, grow up and move on with our lives.

After watching that cartoon, the phrase ' to infinity and beyond ' seems to stuck in my head. I wonder how many things will always be with us to infinity and beyond? What are they?

Many emotions started to well up in me.

Friends? Family? Love?

I will never know. 'To infinity and beyond' is a strong phrase for my age.

*********

I am so busy and tired right now. So many things to do. Study, revision, arranging notes,...........etc. Yet I still can't resist the temptation to online or listen to music or shopping which is actually a waste of time.

Only a few subjects but so many things to study. Economics, chemistry, mathematics and thinking skills. One and a half more months to AS trial exam. How? This feeling is even worse than facing SPM! :(

All I can do now is to study hard and do whatever I can to help myself. There is no end of hardwork. Hardwork is infinity! I'll try my best to infinity and beyond!!!